Can’t Stop, Won’t Stop

No excuses. I’ve been extremely lame recently. Have you ever gotten into one of those ruts and you don’t want to do anything productive ever? Yeah, that’s been me for over a month.

However, recently I’ve been getting the urge to actually do stuff for myself. I feel like I’m putting myself on the right track.

I have here for you this e-mail I wrote to a friend earlier this evening. We’ve been discussing this sort of dilemma that it seems a lot of people have, which is being afraid of falling into the cycle of your “average, everyday, middle American.” It seems like this is all I’ve been discussing with everybody these days. I suppose it’s a good thing that the people I know are realizing this so early so possibly they can prevent themselves from falling into the trap.

I cut out the beginning and the end because they’re not about the subject I introduced and I didn’t necessarily get the OK from my friend to go ahead and post this e-mail. I also cut out 2 names I used because it would more or less give it away to some people.

THE E-MAIL!!!

I’m actually having a bit of the same “nervous about getting myself going” problem you’re having. I spoke with my buddy Ishraq about this (he’s been a bit of therapist for me these past couple years) and he agrees that it’s difficult to get yourself going to do something because you’re nervous and/or scared of the unknown. Most people need pushing by the ones they love.

I can’t assume you haven’t expressed how completely bad ass the Peace Corp would be to ::name bajeeted::, ::name baleeted:: or any of your other loved ones, but you really should if you haven’t. I know for damn sure that either of them would love to constantly push and support you to reach your dream. That’s what my best friends do for me; that’s what they’re there for.

It seems a lot of people are going through the same thing you are. I had ANOTHER convo about this tonight with my cousin Kiki. I’m beginning to think everyone eventually comes to an impasse in their life where they realize they can shoot for their dreams or settle for a life of monotony. The strongest ones, the ones that want the most out of life, the ones that are brave, continue the struggle. I could quote a Robert Frost poem, but I fucking hate his poetry and feel it’d be cliche to use it, so fuck that guy.

I stirred some crazy shit last week when I asked my Mom if, on her death bed, she’ll think back and say to herself, “thank goodness I obsessively kept my house clean and owned all those Coach bags.” Your life isn’t going to be defined by your career, how much money you made, or how many pretty things you owned. It’ll be defined by all the awesome shit you did and the beautiful relationships you made along the way.

One last thing, if you need inspiration, go to http://www.plan-it-x.com/ and on the home page listen to Paul Baribeau’s song “Ten Things.” Whenever I hear this song (seriously) I get all jittery and want to go do everything ever, all at once.

You don’t know who it is, right? Good.

I love my Mom like crazy and regret saying that to her, it just saddens me a bit when I see where her priorities lie.

Obviously I’m not going to start the Monday through Friday thing again, there just ended up not being enough time in the day. I will, however, dedicate myself to writing a blog atleast once a week.

It was nice to see you again!

Stay hopeful,

Tim

Tags: continuing the struggle, Ishraq Ali, Kiki, loved ones, Paul Baribeau, Peace Corp, Plan-It X, Plan-It X Records, support, surviving monotony